Interpret Positively
evaluate possible meanings and choose positive
One of the best coping mechanisms for below average social intuition (inability to detect sarcasm, irony, humor and other social cues) is to attempt to evaluate all possible meanings of a statement simultaneously in realtime, and then pick/weight the more/most positive/optimistic of interpretations.
So when someone says something sarcastic, or even mocking, figure out how to interpret it as if they are still being friendly, and respond as such. This seems to work fairly well, without knowing whether such original statements were sarcasm or mockery.
In short, one method of coping with below average social intuition is to develop optimism about human nature.
retroactively upgrade intended meaning
Treating a statement as positive usually elicits a positive secondary response.
If interpreting a statement as a joke is a more positive interpretation than interpreting it literally (or otherwise), then laughter is an appropriate response. Even if the statement wasn't intended as a joke, the reaction as if it were a joke may make it seem like it was a joke in hindsight, thus lightening the situation either way.
wanting to be and do good
I do believe most people want to be good, and do good, even if they accidentally do good.
positive feedback reinforcement
I think there is a lot of potential for recognizing people for accidental good - people feel good about doing good, and if they didn't think/know they were doing good, but later are recognized as such, it's like a retrospective boost.
Such positive feedback may make them remember/recognize what they accidentally did, and attempt to explicitly repeat it in the future, thus learning how to do more good.
positive sum game
It is nice to do good. When a person does good, it gives people hope and increases their sense of and self-worth, and most likely benefits the recipient(s) as well.
Thus it's a win-win positive sum game.
FAQ
Q: So does intended meaning even matter than?
A: Yes. Because intended meaning is nearly always one of all possible meanings of a statement and if it is the most positive possible meaning of a statement, then someone choosing the most positive possible meaning of a statement will have received and understood the intended meaning.
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